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2nd June 2009

I turned over my diary to a fresh page and noticing the date,my heart banged in my chest,so hard. Old people try to warn you. They tell you that time passed while you to busy with your daily activities.

Being afraid of this life. There are many reasons why everything is hard. There are many directions. I am afraid facing the consequences. I am afraid of them . I do not trust anyone. I always want to know if there is someone who could accept me for who I am. There are many different types of people surrounding me. I can see there are many people who try to help me. I know that they love me. I can see they have faith. I can feel faith. I want faith. What is Faith? I know that it is Faith who leads me to a second chance to heal me and know Jesus Christ as my saviour and my Lord.

I suppose I can say that I am just ..There are times I am pretty quiet and there are times where I am just the eye of the party... Simple at it is, I think I am a nice person who has nothing to hide. What you see is what you get . NO pretenses, NO hidden agenda. I can be pretty nerdy at times, but I don't wear ugly clothes that's for sure hehehe.
My hands fumbled near the dressing table. The irritating sound of the alarm clock disrupted my escape through the whole world of delusions. Dreams,they call it.
One rings....Two rings....Three rings...
Irritated by the growing intensity of the sound,I hit the clock.
silence....
alright..it is 4.00 am in the morning. I sat by the bed just thinking to myself.
Another day. Another battle. Lord Jesus,what I am suppose to do? I tried my best to get into my moods of doing my revision on my books.
What in the world am I going today? I have got tons of problems..I have got my assignment to worry about..Lord Jesus,what is your will for me?